Sari not Sorry

Late Bhadra (August- September) in America is the beginning of a new school year and parent’s rejoicing their kids are out of the house. However, in Nepal, something exciting is in the works. It’s time for the traditionally women’s festival, known as Teej. Women of all ages gather together for three days of activities all in the worship of the Goddess Pavarti in her union to Shiva, who is held as one of the most honored gods in Hinduism. Women come from all over Nepal to dance, sing, fast and pray for the well being of their family. Single women pray for good husbands, married women pray for children and their husband’s health and participate in 24-hour fasting and dancing and singing Teej songs. This national festival is special to women of every caste and every ethnic group and

Before the fasting begins, women enjoy a large feast on Dar Khane Din or “Dar Day” held the night before at their mother’s house. They enjoy Dar, which is bananas and yogurt, and anything they desire, meat included. Along with eating tons of food, women also dress in their nicest Red saris and gold bracelets to perform traditional dances and sing worship songs. This is a time to share pains and sorrows of women’s issues and take a break from the world, united as women. Once the singing and eating end at midnight, you are greeted by your brother who will deliver you to the festivities.

On the day of fasting, women can choose how strict or loose they want to be. Some women refuse even water on this day, however, it is a key component on the puja (worship). Married women choose to fast for the prosperity of their husband and marriage, or if they are seeking fertility. Single women fast for the hope of getting a good husband in the future, a husband who is like Shiva. Dressed in their best Red Sari, they journey to the temple of Shiva where they give offerings of coins, sweets, fruits, and flowers. Once the offering is given, its time for dancing and singing. The lighting of the oil lamp, which must burn throughout the night signifies peace and prosperity starts the show.

Rishi Panchami is the last day of the festivities. Women come together for the closing ceremony of sorts and worship the SaptaRishis also known as the Seven Sages. Praying to personal deities and bathing in red mud from the holy bush of datiwan, taken from the roots. This component of the festival is just as important as fasting and celebration. Women are cleansing themselves of sins using the sacred mud. This symbolism is tied to the Hindu belief that women are “unclean” during times of menstruation. During this time of the month, women are forbidden to worship, step inside the kitchen and making any physical contact with their family. During the Rishi Panchami, they are essentially apologizing for any mistakes that were made while “unclean”.

Viewing in the lense of American and Individualized culture, it’s hard for me to understand and see why a Nepali woman would feel the need to apologize for her biological function and even feel shamed when affected by it every month. However, Teej and shaming because of menstruation is simply a way of life here and women enforce it as strictly as males. Similarly to most things in this culture, some questions will never have a clear answer.